Does this make me look fat?
Today, I had a taste for Mongolian Barbecue. I first had it on vacation when there was a HuHot right across from the motel where my family stayed in Sioux City, Iowa.
I've had Mongolian barbecue a couple of times since then but it's not measured up to my experience at HuHot.
As I recall, HuHot only or mainly served Mongolian barbecue and it was goooood. There's no place quite like that where I live now. So to get Mongolian Barbecue, I had to go to a Chinese Buffet.
Today's had a pretty good Mongolian Barbecue operation.
But I also found that I am way too judgmental to eat frequently at a Chinese Buffet. One thought keeps popping into my head while I'm there.
That thought: These people are fat.
I've never had a woman ask me, "Does this make me look fat?" I've often thought about how I might answer. "Yes, baby. Fat and sexy." Maybe. Maybe not.
But another possiblity is to take the woman to a Chinese buffet.
"Hey, baby. Remember asking me the other night if that dress made you look fat. Stop and look around. You're the skinniest, sexiest, best-looking woman in this place. Don't ever worry about how you look. Just be yourself and be happy."
That I think is a good plan. I recommend it to you. But if you or your wife is plumper than the average Chinese buffet patron, that might not be the pest plan. Then again, maybe it's just what you need to do.
In fact, maybe in the middle of your meal, you stand up and say something like this:
"People. Stop. Put down your forks. We have all let ourselves go. This is ridiculous. Our obesity is threatening our lives. Ask yourself, can you run 40 meters in 4 minutes. When was the last time you touched your toes or looked at your knees while you were standing up? We must be doing something wrong. Here we are at a Chinese buffet and Chinese people don't look like us. I don't know what you're going to do, but as for me and my family, we're going on a diet."
Then sit back down, finish your meal. And try to leave peacefully. That is, if nobody throws their food at you and rips you limb from limb. I'm thinking I'd be able to outrun 'em.
I've had Mongolian barbecue a couple of times since then but it's not measured up to my experience at HuHot.
As I recall, HuHot only or mainly served Mongolian barbecue and it was goooood. There's no place quite like that where I live now. So to get Mongolian Barbecue, I had to go to a Chinese Buffet.
Today's had a pretty good Mongolian Barbecue operation.
But I also found that I am way too judgmental to eat frequently at a Chinese Buffet. One thought keeps popping into my head while I'm there.
That thought: These people are fat.
I've never had a woman ask me, "Does this make me look fat?" I've often thought about how I might answer. "Yes, baby. Fat and sexy." Maybe. Maybe not.
But another possiblity is to take the woman to a Chinese buffet.
"Hey, baby. Remember asking me the other night if that dress made you look fat. Stop and look around. You're the skinniest, sexiest, best-looking woman in this place. Don't ever worry about how you look. Just be yourself and be happy."
That I think is a good plan. I recommend it to you. But if you or your wife is plumper than the average Chinese buffet patron, that might not be the pest plan. Then again, maybe it's just what you need to do.
In fact, maybe in the middle of your meal, you stand up and say something like this:
"People. Stop. Put down your forks. We have all let ourselves go. This is ridiculous. Our obesity is threatening our lives. Ask yourself, can you run 40 meters in 4 minutes. When was the last time you touched your toes or looked at your knees while you were standing up? We must be doing something wrong. Here we are at a Chinese buffet and Chinese people don't look like us. I don't know what you're going to do, but as for me and my family, we're going on a diet."
Then sit back down, finish your meal. And try to leave peacefully. That is, if nobody throws their food at you and rips you limb from limb. I'm thinking I'd be able to outrun 'em.
posted by bl at 5:34 pm
2 Comments:
I think I had similar thoughts the last time I was at a Chinese buffet... it sort of made me not want to eat there, because I thought, this can't possibly be part of a healthy diet. But then, I also had the thought that I'd better eat all I could to get my money's worth... and then, they had ice cream for dessert... :)
From what I understand, "Chinese" food like most buffets in the midwest aren't much like real Chinese food at all...
[ydhwn] must be getting sleepy...
Thanks. Now I don't feel so bad for being a bit judgmental. It guess it's only human.
And I too doubt that vegetable sticks, cheesy shrimp and butter combination are real Chinese food.
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