Thursday, April 12

Meditations on Fat Charlie the archangel

Fat charlie the archangel
Sliped into the room
He said i have no opinion about this
And i have no opinion about that...
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love
I don't want no part of this crazy love
I don't want no part of your love...
Fat charlie the archangel
Files for divorce
He says well this will eat up a year of my life
And then there's all that weight to be lost


I was walking out of the Y when I heard this song. Treadmill workouts are always hard because I can't let the treadmill go slow. Typically they're not long runs and I push it so hard I can't run as far as I'd really like to go. Initially planned for 6 miles, this became a 4.5 mile run. And it was frustrating because I switched treadmills into the workout because the first one I didn't trust. It didn't feel steady under my feet.

And then there's all that weight to be lost. Something about that line just lingers in my head. It's because of the religious echo.

All that wait to be lost. Exactly the opposite of all those who wait to be saved. Salvation becomes a prickly subject. That's especially the case in an increasingly secular and combatively atheistic culture. I don't believe in your hell. I can't be damned to some place I don't believe in. I don't need your salvation. And who are you calling lost anyway. I know exactly where I am.

All that weight to be lost. All that baggage to be dropped. To be outrun. To leave behind. Don't take it personal. Just keep moving. Move on to the next prospect, eh? It's something like that, right?

But my way of looking at faith is that what happens after we die is important. But I need salvation right now.

Also on that cd I listened to today, The fear of loss is greater than the desire for gain. And a loss can be a humiliation. A loss can be losing you. A loss can be losing yourself.

How do you sell yourself on salvation. How do you find salvation? I don't want to wait to be saved. But I had to be patient. I had to wait for you.

I had to wait to get found. Even though I thought I knew where I was going in the first place. In the beginning, I felt good about myself.

I was lost but now I'm found. Grace set me free. All that weight I had to lose. And now I feel like myself again.

I guess I could file this under creative process also.

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