Thursday, November 16

Closed on Thanksgiving

So I stopped in the Y tonight to get some running in. As I swiped my card, I noticed a little flier saying that the Y would be closed on Thanksgiving.

I had my iPod in but I decided to joke around with the desk guy. "This doesn't make any sense at all," I said. "How in the world can you guys close on Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know," he replied. "It doesn't make sense to me either."

It was dry humor, but with a comeback like that, I wasn't sure what to think at all. I didn't really feel like saying, but I was joking. I just walked up stairs and headed to the treadmill.


Blogger Cherie Kail said...

Awwww. That's ripe then for a good Thanksgiving. You could always do the Turkey trot! Are you going anywhere? I'm making T-day dinner this year and you'd be more than welcome to join. It'll be my Mom, Dad and little (BIG) brother. Of course, they have no idea I'm doing the marathon and it would pain them because of past life situations. So if you came, I'd ask that that be the one thing not brought up. But otherwise, if you don't have plans, bring yourself. I can make plans to be near a phone next week

November 17, 2006 2:51 PM  
Blogger Cherie Kail said...

OR, even if it's thirty degrees, that is still a great running temp OUTSIDE@@@

November 17, 2006 2:52 PM  
Blogger BL said...

I can't believe your parents don't know you're running a marathon.

November 17, 2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger BL said...

I feel like I should say more. But I don't completely know your situation and your history.

Still, it almost feels quite deceptive to be doing something so big and huge and not tell your parents about it. It's not quite the same as getting married and not telling your parents, but running a marathon is a big deal.

I'd want to share that with my family, not hide it from them. Anyhow, I'm sure you're figure out what's best.

November 17, 2006 6:06 PM  
Blogger Cherie Kail said...

Well, it all goes back to when I had this eating disorder and when it emerged in full force, running was my prime binge. I'm still battling over whether or not to go through with this. I have to call the chiropractor in the morning anyhow and if there is a big bill there tha insurance wouldn't cover, I cannot go to Memphis. This came tonight and was a real letdown. I have several life events that I've only desired to keep bottled up, but they just keep eating away at me and I'm ignoring them, putting them on the back burner. Nanette had a few wise words that I've never LISTENED to because having this trapped inside distorts reality a little bit. I'm sure this will be an interesting dialogue to read, but I have to share it. This deception is the same reason I have trouble talking on the phone and always try to busy keep from thinking about or addressing the real problem. I've not even thought long and hard about whether a marathon is a good thing to do, a wise thing. Am I ready for it? Physically yes. Mentally, well, that is a different story. I've nearly wanted to go crazy on certain days and instead just go run or burn physical energy. It has also become a problem because the more of these issues I ignore, the more they seem to stack up and cause me to lose focus just trying to fend them off. I'm thinking just by reading this that a marathon is NOT a good thing for me to attempt. But I do it because I'm not a quitter. What would I prove doing it? What would happen if I didn't? Would people quit respecting me for that? Would I maybe be a little more focused on what is necessary? Would it mean having fun and not training all the time?
When I told my Dad about second in the Sunshine Run, he was certainly not impressed and he was a little slightly heartbroken, I could tell. So, this type-A personality has become extreme, almost to the extent that I avoid talking to people so I don't brush them the wrong way or say something wrong. And it has gotten to the point of loneliness several times. And I have had several coworkers ask if I needed to 'get help' and what was wrong because I was so tense? I'm so afraid of failure that that is the main reason I suppose to still be running this race, and the same reason that I have so much sin in my life, i.e. gluttony, idolatry and obsession with things that are really not important. I have failed to return phone calls, failed to eat right, failed to listen closely to friends, failed to make friends and keep them close, failed to succeed 100 percent at anything because I've tried to keep busy doing too much and this has persisted for over four years. Also, it is important to remember that happy people are successful just by the power of happiness. At this rate, I'll never meet anyone who would ever want to spend the rest of life together and then would only be a thorn in my parents' elderly side. Stress is only self-induced and I have to get some of this figured out before I really screw up and end up a nothing, a nobody, nowhere with nothing to show for it. It's pretty scary, and not thinking about it and not talking about it and not trying to change only exacerbates the problem. I get this weird feeling that the world is stacked against me and is sitting on me every day, that I have to have only productive thoughts. Rather, it should be that the world is at my fingertips, so what can I do to reach out to it, to people, to quit being so selfish? I think this goes far deeper than even I want to admit. But I'm going to really think hard tomorrow and go to Pittsburg, Kansas to a Full Gospel old boss' invitation. Hopefully the open road will open my eyes. I don't want to be deceptive and until now hadn't even thought of that, but you really made me think. You're right and I can't go against family, I can't keep ignoring them, too. God, this hurts

November 17, 2006 11:36 PM  

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